TANKATAKA about her musical journey: I want to change everything drastically, and the only way out is to 'kill' TANKATAKA

TANKATAKA is a Ukrainian singer and songwriter who recently released her debut album "Anesthesia", capturing her emotions and experiences triggered by russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine in 2022. Despite facing a challenging period in her creative journey, she continues to write Ukrainian-language songs while living abroad and introduces international audiences to Ukrainian original music. She shared with Drive Music Media her thoughts on the "identity crisis", her debut album "Anesthesia", and her plans to "kill" TANKATAKA to create something new from its remains.

Interviewer: In 2024, you released several songs, including "Teche Voda" (ed. – "The Water Flows") and "Potvory" (ed. – "Monsters"), culminating in your debut album "Anesthesia", which you had been working on for two years. Tell us, how did the idea of releasing a debut album after such a long period of creating singles come about? What inspired the album’s title, "Anesthesia", and how many songs does it include?

TANKATAKA: The idea of releasing an album had been with me for many years, even before the full-scale invasion began. It was a goal I had been striving for my entire life since I started writing music. Of course, I never thought my debut album would be a collection reflecting on the events of war, but that’s how it turned out. Releasing singles is much easier than an album because you focus on just one song, invest in its promotion, and that’s it. All the attention is centered on a single piece of work. With an album, it’s more complicated. It’s impossible to highlight every track equally – you still have to choose a lead single or two. An album requires a cohesive sound, which I don’t think I fully achieved with my debut. The only thing that unites all the tracks is a pervasive sense of depression, the theme of war, and reflection. I have mixed feelings about the album. On one hand, I’m glad it’s finally out because, honestly, I was very tired while preparing it. On the other hand, I didn’t expect any “wow” effect. It came out, and that’s that. The album includes eight tracks, three of which were released as singles in 2024.

Interviewer: How do you feel you’ve changed as a singer-songwriter in the years since your song "Innoplanetiany" (ed. – "Aliens")? What new themes are you exploring in your work, and why?

TANKATAKA: I feel like I want to move forward, to change everything radically. And perhaps to do so, I need to kill TANKATAKA so that something else can be born from its ashes. I feel confined where I am now.

Interviewer: Tell us about the song from your debut album that you chose to represent it. What meanings did you embed in the release of "STRATA" (ed. – "Execution")?

TANKATAKA: The lyrics for "STRATA" were originally written as a separate poem during the protests in Iran in the fall of 2022, following the murder of a journalist. The poem sat untouched for a long time, but then it somehow aligned with an arrangement created by a friend of ours, which my boyfriend later reworked and finalized. I think the arrangement matched the meaning of the poem well.

The meaning of the song is straightforward: the struggle for freedom, independence, the right to choose, and much more. Let everyone find their own interpretation. I’m tired of explaining what my songs are about. Sometimes I feel like my lyrics are too intellectual and veiled.

Interviewer: The journey to releasing the album was challenging, but your team supported you. Tell us about those who contributed to the creation of your album.

TANKATAKA: My boyfriend supported and continues to support me. He pushes me forward and keeps me moving. I’m someone with many doubts inside, doubts that consume me every day. I always feel like I’m doing something wrong, that I’m not enough, and most of the time, I just want to give up. But he doesn’t let me. He believes in me, helps, and supports me. Thanks to him, the album even came out. Though, of course, it was my long-held dream, one I’d carried for years.

Interviewer: Tell us about the concert in December in Bucharest as part of Ukrainian MusicLab 2024. How did you prepare for the concert, and how did your journey with live sessions in another country begin?

TANKATAKA: I got into the Ukrainian MusicLab program, organized by Europavox with the support of the French Institute in Bucharest and Music Export Ukraine. This concert was part of the program, which also included educational workshops, speed meetings with representatives of the European music industry, and a showcase festival in Bucharest’s Control Club. The event took place at the end of October. It was my first showcase. It was a great experience, with a lot of support and valuable insights. I think participating in this program taught me a lot, and I’m truly glad I was part of it. Opportunities like this are rare.

Interviewer: What was the process of creating the music video for "STRATA" like? What was the most challenging part for you?

TANKATAKA: We shot it with friends. We didn’t have a budget; my boyfriend just had his camera, and we used what we already had at home for filming. I can’t say there was anything particularly difficult about the process – we just had a good time with friends and created something artistic.

Interviewer: Which song from your debut album holds the most special meaning for you, and why?

TANKATAKA: The track "DZERKALO" (ed. – "Mirror") means the most to me. It’s personal; in it, I write about my experience with self-harm, the struggle with self-identity, and self-acceptance. As someone with borderline personality disorder, it’s hard for me to understand who I am. I often hate myself and think I’m doing everything wrong. My closet is full of skeletons that no one knows about. Maybe that’s why no one understood what the song was about. I think my metaphors are so veiled that it’s hard to decipher without an explanation.

Interviewer: Is there a song you’ve written that will never see the light of day? What is it about, and why?

TANKATAKA: I have dozens, if not hundreds, of songs that will never see the light of day – especially those I wrote in russian. I don’t even want to translate them. Let them stay where they are. And that’s okay. Not every song has to be released. Not every track has to be a hit.

Interviewer: What is your mission as a Ukrainian singer-songwriter?

TANKATAKA: Right now, I’m struggling with my mission. I’m a Ukrainian living in Germany. I can’t fully develop in the Ukrainian music market because I live in Germany, and in Germany, my Ukrainian-language music isn’t particularly needed. I’m currently going through a major identity crisis and see only one way out: to kill TANKATAKA. That’s the only way to move forward.

Interviewer: What word best describes your new music, and why?

TANKATAKA: Chaos. Because I never know what will inspire me tomorrow. I can’t settle on a musical genre because I feel like my choice will always be wrong. I’m a strong person and a weak one at the same time. I want to create energetic, aggressive music, yet I also want to be lyrical and depressive. I want to seduce and command respect as an individual. I don’t know who I am. But maybe that’s who I am. Let’s see.

Pictures were taken by Kirill Maikhopar